Wedding Rings and Polygamy
Whether it’s legal in the United States or not, Polygamist couples (or should I say Quadruples or Sextuples) are getting married regardless of law and why shouldn’t they have access to wedding rings just like the rest of monogamous Americans? It isn’t illegal to buy a ring, right?
First of all, let’s define the word Polygamy as a generalized term that comes from the Greek word meaning “the practice of multiple marriages.” More specifically, Polygyny means one man having multiple wives and Polydandry is one woman that has multiple husbands. Bigamy is a term used more by the state to criminalize the illegal practice of multiple marriages recognized by local and federal laws.
The practice of Polygamy, once upon a time a foreign concept to the greater population of the United States, has become a more familiar word since the premiere of the hit HBO series Big Love which aired in 2006. Big Love centers around a Polygamist (Bill Paxton) and his multifarious relationship to all three of his very different wives.
The designers of Big Love’s publicity posters created a symbol you’ll find on advertisements and billboards that feature an interlocking symbol within the “O” of “Love.” Incorporating this symbol, or something similar, that represents a “togetherness” theme on each individual ring is a wonderful way to tie the spouse’s rings together as a family, yet allowing space for their individuality by allowing personal accents on each of their own rings.
I also like the photograph of Bill Paxton in which he has three different bands on his ring finger, one for each wife. Just like many modern couples have interlocking engagement rings with their wedding bands, so can the single sexed member of the polygamist family have three or four or six interlocking rings to represent their separate spouses joining together as one family unit.
If your “marriage group” works more like a hierarchy in which the first wife is more of the matriarch over the subsequent wives, then I would recommend a wedding band system that reflects that. The first wife’s ring is the largest and most intricate and each ring that follows should integrate one small thematic aspect of her alpha female ring.
I don’t suggest you number the rings. If real life is anything like the television show, coexisting with more than one woman competing for one man’s attention can make a relationship hard enough. Engraving obvious inequalities in this plural relationship with a numeric caste system might cause more than one argument, bitter resentment and possibly an ensuing divorce.
In order to keep the peace when dealing with so many different opinions and unique voices, it’s important to let everyone have input on the final decision. If you are a first spouse in your family’s polygamist timeline, use your experience to pick a themed ring early on to prevent later disagreements and remember, you’re all family here so try your hardest to get along, marriage is a long journey especially if you’re doing it with more than one person.
Tags: Big Love, Bill Paxton, Polygamy